EURO English

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby

        English will be the official language of the European Union rather

        than German, which was the other possibility.

 

        As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that

        English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-

        year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

 

        In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".. Sertainly, this

        will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be

        dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and

        keyboards kan have one less letter.

 

        There will be growing publikenthusiasm in the sekond year when the

        troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f".. This will make words like

        fotograf 20% shorter.

 

        In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted

        to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

 

        Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have

        always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

 

        Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag

        is disgrasful and it should go away.

 

        By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"

        with "z" and "w" with "v".

 

        During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords

        kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl

        riten styl.

 

        Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU

        understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

 

        Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in

        ze forst plas.

 

        If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.