gold ring

- Where did this beautiful gold ring?
- I found yesterday on a walk in the park.
- It would be normal to go out and preach to the Police.
- I like to do that. The interior is studded "Yours forever."

pharmacy

A guy walks into a pharmacy  and ask them:
- Do you fish?
Farmacistele looked at him confused and not respond to anything.
- Do you fish? - He lies.
- Sir, you do not see that here is a pharmacy?, Dare one.
- I have wondered if you're over! - He insisted.
- No, sir, we have fish! - May 1 answer arrogance.
- So, today I'm your fish!

a girl

A girl asks her friend to pass on to her house and take dinner with her parents. This is an important event, the girl tells her boyfriend that after dinner he wants to go to him and "do" for the first time. Of course, the boy is ecstatic, but he never had sex before, so it goes to pharmacy to get her some birth control methods. The pharmacist in charge of it for an hour, explaining in detail about sex. In the end, he asked how many condoms they want to buy: a 3-pack, each one 10 or 20. The boy insists on taking on the 20, because I think it will be very busy, being the first time.
Friday night the boy goes to girl's parents house and is greeted by his girlfriend at the door. The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents and where they were. Boy proposes to immediately say prayer and bows his head.
One minute passes and the boy is still deep in prayer, head bowed. 10 mins go by and still not see any movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head bowed, his girlfriend and whispered close to her friend:
- I thought you were not so religious person.
The boy returned and whispered:
- No I do not think your father is a pharmacist.

Three bridegroom

A 50-year-old woman had three gineri.Si one day wanted to see how much you love her ... ginerii 
One day he takes his first son-and go for a walk and suddenly be cast into the Danube and cry-Ajuto, help! 
Salt and a son saves mother from drowning ... 
The day before sees son casi Golf 5 with a note "From your most beloved mother" 
The third day the second son-repeated story 
Eeeee when it's time to jump into the Danube third son-mother and cried, Help, Help! Son sat quietly on the shore and looked like mother drowning. 
The next day sees son casi a Lamborghini Diablo to the note "From your father-boyfriend" ... 

Pregnant

Daughter invites her vast 16 years father and mother to sit on the couch in the living room to tell you something: 
- Mom, Dad ,.... I'm pregnant! 
- If a pig could be ordinary, dull, wretched, and the animal that you mocked? If my hands on it right now, kill him !!!!! her mother explodes. 
Very calm, take a young cell and form a number. In less than 15 minutes in front of an energetic brakes Scaglieti Ferrarri 512 silver and, in less than 2 minutes, the door is an elegant man with slightly graying hair, dressed in an impeccable Armani suit with a huge bouquet roses in her arms: 
- Beloved Lady, Sir, please .... 
- What do we pray Donkey, fucking pedophile begins .... mother .... 
- Listen to me .... .... 
- .... That you have abused our child's youthful fruit ....!!! 
- Condition of my social position and I can not afford to take her daughter to marry you. But, if your child will be born a boy, will receive the gift of baptism a car parts factory, a supermarket, a fancy restaurant, a 300 sqm apartment in Bucharest's center, a beachfront villa and a villa in the mountains . If you have to, will receive a baptismal garment factory, a clothing label "haute couture", a supermarket and also an apartment and a villa far from the sea and the mountains. If they are twins, will receive a meat processing factory, one dairy, one apartment and a package of Gazprom shares each worth 5 million. If you lose the pregnancy ... 
- Io shoot once! To be clear! Father to intervene. 

blonde from their increased

Two blondes were talking together one one asks the other: 
-Hey you come to my adulthood? 
Yeah how not to come, but I have a question. 
Says "Yes! 
"But how long turns? 
I do not really know that my mother had forgotten how much I remember. 

Maternity

On maternity were three blondes. The first says: 

- For me to be a boy I think I stayed below. 
The second says: 
- For me I think I'll be a girl I stayed on top. 
A third says: 
- For me I think I stayed to be kid goat.

blonde in an elevator

Two blondes in an elevator. 

One finds a strange substance on the wall inside the elevator ... 
Curious touches and put in your mouth. To which she ... "The girl is not in our block." 

Peak Football

He writes on the grass: "Do not step on green space" 

Messi Vs C. Ronaldo

Why C. Ronaldo beat their babies in the morning? 
For evening walk with Messi. 

physical sample to police

Single question: "What is more, the speed of light or sound speed? Arguments."

First cop:
- A sound.
- False, but argue!
- Well if you turn on the TV first, then you hear something and see!

Second cop:
- A light.
- Right. Arguments.
- If you turn on the radio, first indicator light turns on and then they hear.

The third policeman, group genius, the young hope of the Romanian police:
- A light.
- Right, argue.
- Storm!
- Excellent ... say!
- Thunder, lightning ... first see lightning, then hear the thunder!
- Excellent, argue!
- Well, let it report: his eyes in front is more than the ears!

Journal of an American tourist travel

I can only say that this journal will travel (via e-mail) is sensational and perfectly reflect American culture. They're not all like that, but most do.Happy reading!

"Venice: I arrived in town after a heavy rain. All streets are flooded. Not only travel by boat. However barcagii are very happy and sing some canzonet called Barcarolle. The hotel is rather old and the chamber door frog croaking terribly.

LONDON: In London I saw nothing because of fog. In recent days, the fog lifted for a few seconds and I could see a beautiful clock tower. The clock stood, but I never stayed.

MADRID: The city is beautiful, has wide streets with fountains and statues equestrian fountains. They've got a large palace, but a bit unwelcoming.Instead, people are nice, chatty, hospitable and Romanian name.

PARIS: As far as I remember from school, Paris is the capital of Germany.However, the streets of Paris are full of Japanese. The number of famous and beautiful French women was greatly reduced. They can not be seen just as a painting exhibited at the Louvre Museum. 
Represents an ugly Italian who smiles Tampa.

PRAGUE: In Prague I had a delicious blonde who served me with an unforgettable ham ...

BUCHAREST: The guide him on me, appeared in New York, I presents Bucharest as the capital of Hungary. I think the middle is a mistake. North Station is spoken in more turkey. 
What makes me think there are in Bucharest, but in Frankfurt. "

Relax

Some have started weeks so stressed. You will see very soon a pauper of neuron that has panic attacks when it opens my blog. In a few moments.Until then, please relax involuntarily humorous advertising. Received e-mail. It may be old, but I was terribly amused.

Super !!!!! Instructions ...

Here are some REAL instructions on the packaging of products that are currently on the market.

On a hair dryer Rowenta brochure: 
Do not use while sleeping. 
(Hell, yes' only when I have time to take care of my hair!)

On a bag of chips frit: 
You can be a winner! No need to buy. Details inside. 
(Perhaps this is an invitation to ciordesti package)

On the Dial soap: 
Usage - Use as a soap. 
(Zaaaau? ... .. That is how?)

On some Swanson frozen foods: 
Preparation Tips - Thaw. 
(But it's just a suggestion)

The headphones seem to bag a bathroom, a four star hotel: 
Place on head. 
(Awwww, shiiiit!)

On the bottom of a Tiramisu cutiii ItalGelato brand: 
Do not tilt the box. 
(Too late, you lose!)

On a semi Dr Oetker pudding: 
This product will be hot once reheated. 
(Are you sure??)

On the box of a Rowenta iron (strikes again): 
Do not iron clothes on body directly! 
(Yes, but I'd save a lot of time ...)

On a bottle of cough syrup for children GlaxoWelcome brand: 
Do not drive a car! Do not operate heavy machinery! 
(It should forbid them to have children and menopause, and covered almost everything)

On a bottle of Nytol (sleeping): 
Warning: May cause drowsiness. 
(On buneeee??)

A set of lights on the box of Chinese tree: 
Use indoors or outdoors. 
(So be clear who is using under water or in space lose guarantee!)

The manual of a Japanese food processor: 
Do not use for other purposes. 
(Hmmmm, this makes me very curious ...)

On a box of Sainsbury's peanuts: 
Warning, contains peanuts. 
(May explode ... ....)

A bag of peanuts on a flight from: 
Instructions: open the bag, eat nuts. 
(Although, not vice versa?)

The manual of Husqvarna chainsaws: 
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or other organs. 
(Um, that was a model Lorena Bobbi!)

On a Superman costume for children: 
This costume will not allow you to fly. 
("What, you allow others?)

On a toothbrush offered a free dental clinic: 
Use the plastic bristled. 
(Really!)

The husband comes home in the morning

* The husband comes home in the morning, beat cake. Ringing the doorbell, but no one answers them. He starts screaming:
- I have the most beautiful flowers for beautiful girl!
Happy wife opened the door and ask:
- But where are the flowers?
To which her husband responds:
- But where's the beautiful girl??